I was standing with eight thousand women in a conference center, seeking to find, reaching for more of Him, when I looked at my sister and said, “If I took my youth club girls on a retreat would you come with me?” It seemed like the idea came from nowhere but I know better than that. When you follow Jesus and you wake up everyday and pour out and cry out and plead with the God of the universe that He would use you, do you know that He will?
I went home clueless and trembling, and I started praying feeble prayers.
Why am I still so short on faith? Haven’t I seen enough of His power and grace at work to believe unfaltering?
And there I was, wrestling with the questions of life and purpose, dreaming dreams bigger than myself and feeling that ugly condemnation of the enemy pricking me as I prayed every word.
Who do you think you are? You think you can take those club girls on a retreat? What retreat? How will that ever work? You think you are something special, huh?
Two days later, there it was in my inbox, an email from a woman I’d talked with for thirty minutes months ago. A visionary woman who was dreaming a dream bigger than herself too. An ordinary woman, mama of two, who dared to believe in the impossible. And she was grabbing my hand and saying, “Yeah, so are you in, cause I need help here, but listen…I think we could do this!”
A retreat. For city girls that come to club. Girls who live broken lives – just like us – who need Jesus – just like us.
I bind and rebuke you, satan. I am just ordinary, you are right, but I am ordinary redeemed and my God? He delights in using the ordinary redeemed.