And the Heart Beats Slower

Two years later…and the heart beats slower…savoring.

I woke up this morning, rolled over and slung my arm around my husband. With my face buried in his back, breathing in his manly scent, I whispered happily…”Happy Anniversary, love. Two years!”

He hugged me back, a sleepy smile slowly creeping over his face. “Happy Anniversary to you. I cherish you Renee.”

It’s been two years since we said our “I-do’s”…and all throughout the day I’ve been trying to remember what I was doing at that moment, two years ago. Thoughts wash through my mind as I  remember.

Remembering… the moment I walked out of the bridal room and his face lit up with wonder that made my heart skip a beat. Remembering the words he spoke to me before the paparazzi of picture-taking began…”You’re so beautiful.” Remembering the laughter and tears…the hugs and kisses…whispering croaky good-byes to the last moments of being Miss Renee Pratt…shouting hello to the first moments of being Mrs. Ryan Shafer.

Remembering, the happy sorrow on my father’s face as I clutched his arm and we promenaded down the aisle. Remembering his tight hug that swallowed me up, before he handed me to my man. Remembering my mother’s face as she kissed my cheek and mouthed, “I love you, Renee.”

Remembering, the joy that surged through my being as I turned with my husband to face the preacher, my heart skipping happy beats. Remembering, how I looked up at Ryan with the awe and wonder of a bride and realized…I am his.

Remembering how my heart beat fast all through the day and into the evening when we consummated our love. Remembering how I lived every moment that day, with the excited anticipation of fresh, young love that couldn’t get enough, that squeezed the morsel out of every second.

Two years later…and the heart beats slower…savoring.

Because somehow, two years just came and went…and now I just remember.

It’s been a full two years, fraught with reality. 

Thousands and thousand of dollars in doctor visits. Emergencies. Tight finances. A move. Relational upheaval with friends and family. Growing pains. A miscarriage. Rebuke and betrayal. Rejections. Unfair assumptions.

It’s been a full two years, fraught with reality.

And joy.

Our love has widened, our passion deepened, our experience expanded, our desires refined. Our joy explodes.

We are more in love today than we were two years ago…twenty-four down-to-earth, frayed months later. Our fingers laced together, we look at each other and my blue eyes get lost in his brown eyes, his brown eyes get lost in my blue eyes. They smile, they reach into the depths, they know.

The hearts don’t race now, for the hearts beat slower…savoring.


2 thoughts on “And the Heart Beats Slower

  1. Okay, I don’t even *really* know you and this post still made me feel *sniffles*. 😉 You have a gift for wording things, Renee. Truly. Happy Belated Anniversary, you two!

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